Both Say Something About Me

Once, I visited Sweden for a week. The only thing I remember how to say is Ursäkta. Excuse me.


Once, I visited Montreal for a month. The only thing I learned to say with confidence was Est-ce que vous avez un cendrier, s'il vous plait? Do you have an ashtray, please? 

Nicotine Love

Apparently, there is a Jewel song entitled "Nicotine Love." No, I didn't listen to it. But take a minute to ruminate on these choice lyrics:

This love is like barbed wire running through my veins
Nicotine Love
Go ahead hurt me like that
I've been hurt before

Tonight, Jewel is speaking to me for the first time since I turned 18 and started listening to male vocalists who didn't necessarily play guitar. She's speaking to me because I work on a farm and spend a lot of time these days fixing and getting caught on barbed wire fences. But it's also because I started smoking in 2001 and while I've gone long periods of time without, I always seem to stumble back to the Parliament Lights. 

Thus, today begins my 423, 323, 781st attempt at quitting and on this fortuitous day, I've decided to try something new: writing a public, navel-gazing blog about My History With the Cigarette and my most recent quitting process.

I plan primarily to distract myself by giving myself projects, such as Eat a Candy Bar a Day for Two Weeks and Write Reviews. Or Instead of Smoking, Try Watching the Entire First Season of Law & Order SVU again. Or, Try to Perfect Your Childhood Cartwheel. Needless to say, there's a lot of indulgence, adventure and regression to come. 

Perhaps the most challenging task with which I'll present myself will be to keep it light so that this blog doesn't become as painful to read as nicotine withdrawal is to endure. Likely, I'll also resent myself next week for setting myself to this task. This will become yet another self-imposed obligation that stresses me out and therefore becomes an excuse to smoke. But for now, it sure seems promising, doesn't it?